Five Signs You Are Communicating With A Narcissist

I learned a long time ago that having a conversation with a narcissist isn’t going to be an easy walk down the street.

In fact, it’s going to be more like walking into the middle of a tornado.

A few years ago I was in a relationship with a narcissist and I would constantly wonder why it felt like our conversations never went anywhere.

After our interactions, I would always feel exhausted and depleted and my head would be spinning from all of the nonsense.

From start to finish a Narcissist is going to ensure that they are manipulating the conversation to go the way that they want it to go.

Here are the ways that they will ensure communication goes their way.

#1. They will control the conversation topic

I didn’t understand how I was in a relationship with someone that had seemed to share common interests with me, but now we were only conversing about two topics.

Conspiracy theories and music.

If I tried to talk about my day or something going on in my life the conversation would quickly shift.

After a few weeks I realized that he didn’t want to talk about anything except for those two topics.

To keep the peace I gave in and we would almost always talk about the topics he preferred to focus on.

#2. They will constantly interrupt you

My little brother has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and it is next to impossible to get a sentence in without him interrupting.

The last time I saw him, he ranted on and on for hours, and my friend and I couldn’t get a word in even when we tried.

By frequently interrupting, the narcissist communicator also reinforces her or his false sense of conceit and entitlement. –Psychology Today

It got so bad at one point that I tried to speak and he put his finger over my mouth to “shush” me.

Considering the fact that he was a guest in my apartment that I shared with my best friend, we were not happy.

That was the night I finally realized how much he had manipulated the conversations we had over the years and how one-sided things were between us.

#3. They will act like “experts”

When I was working with my ex (that’s how we met) he decided that he was deserving of a promotion that presented itself.

He went on and on for days about how he knew more about sales than anyone else and that he was the best candidate.

However, for someone who was an “expert”, his numbers and performance certainly didn’t reflect that.

In fact, he had the lowest sales numbers in our entire department.

I was one of the top account executives in the company at the time and yet, he would talk to me as if he were an expert and I knew nothing.

#4. They will brag about their “achievements”

Have you ever noticed that someone who is truly successful and secure usually doesn’t feel the need to brag about themselves?

“Many narcissists enjoy bragging about themselves in grandiose and exaggerated terms, be it their physical attractiveness, material (trophy) possessions, social popularity, exciting lifestyle, merit badge achievements, high-status associations, or other envy-worthy attributes.” –Psychology Today

My ex would constantly talk about his glory days in his band. Although they had broken up and had only played a few local gigs he would say how amazing they were and that they could still make them “big time.”

He would also brag about the friendship he had with a manager at work and continually said it would help him move up the ladder, even though that wasn’t the case at all.

#5. You realize that they are truly never listening

Right at the beginning of my relationship with the narcissist, he seemed to be listening to everything I said.

It wasn’t until in the aftermath that I realized he was mirroring me to learn how he could manipulate and control me later on.

Near the end of our relationship, someone asked him what my interests were and he couldn’t even answer.

I realized later on that it made sense that he hardly knew me because I never had a chance to even talk about myself because he was constantly interrupting.

Don’t waste your time trying to communicate with a narcissist. They aren’t going to listen and I promise that your energy is better spent elsewhere.

Source : Medium