How to love a highly sensitive, empathetic person.
Empaths are unique in many ways, both positive and negative. One thing is certain: after dating one, your life will never be the same.
Being in a relationship with an empath is a wonderful, challenging experience. Wonderful because life gains a whole new meaning when you’re loved by someone so caring and sensitive. Challenging because empaths don’t take love lightly and things can get extremely intense.
As an empath, I’m aware of my strengths and vulnerabilities. I know I can be too sensitive at times. But I have also learned that my sensitivity is precisely one of my strengths — not one of my weaknesses.
We empaths are highly attuned to our environment and to the people we share our life with. Being with the right person — someone who adores us and values our particular traits — plays a huge role in our well-being.
If you’re in love with an empath, these are some things to keep in mind if you want your relationship to flourish and reach its fullest potential.
1. Our alone time is non-negotiable
Relationships are important to us. We thrive when we’re surrounded by people who truly respect us and love us for who we are.
However, we are lone wolves. We need our downtime as no one else does. We tend to absorb our partner’s energy, and become overwhelmed, anxious, or exhausted when we don’t have time to decompress in our own space.
It’s not a luxury; it’s about self-preservation. I feel suffocated and disrespected when I’m not given my space to breathe and recharge, and I’m at my best when I have that time for myself.
2. Be sensitive about how you express yourself
Empaths usually think twice before saying or doing anything. We’re extremely careful when expressing our feelings and opinions because we don’t want to hurt anyone with our words — and we expect the same in return.
Keep in mind that we get easily hurt by criticism and judgement. We can’t just “shrug things off”. So, if you say something that causes damage, there’s no going back. We’ll feel sad and overwhelmed by our emotions for hours.
3. We can’t stand shallowness
Understanding an empath requires an incredible amount of empathy, and connecting with us is something most people we date are unable to do.
Everything we feel is deep, and that includes our love for you — it’s as real, raw and pure as it can be.
“The sort of love that awakens all the cells in your body is the norm for us. It has such intensity that it slows down time, makes you feel like a million bucks, and reminds you what’s important in life. I’m talking about THAT kind of love. I’m not saying it lasts forever, especially in long-term relationships, but you’re almost sure to experience it if we fall in love with you.”
Ginelle Testa, in Love Is Intense For Everyone, But For Empaths, It’s Out Of This World
4. Believe in us, and verbalize it
Empaths are creative souls. We have a million dreams, visions, and aspirations, and we love to fantasize about them.
Although it can be beneficial for us to be with someone who’s more down-to-earth, it’s important to find a compromise. We’re at our best when our partner believes in our abilities and helps us make our dreams come true. When this doesn’t happen, we feel devalued and invalidated.
5. Allow us to express our emotions freely
We wear our hearts on our sleeves. We feel a lot, and we feel intensely. It can be tempting to tell us to ‘let it go’ and focus on something else, but this is not something we can easily do.
Don’t try to change us. Don’t tell us we’re too sensitive — we’re perfectly aware of that and we work really hard to accept ourselves. We’re our own worst critics and we don’t need any more judgement.
The best thing you can do is to comfort us and support us through these difficult moments and phases, and we’ll forever be grateful.
6. Don’t force us to socialize when we don’t want to
Now, I’m at a point in my life where I know my boundaries and I respect my emotional needs. But usually, empaths do their best to please everyone and it can take a long time for us to learn how to put ourselves first.
We love to socialize and to spend time with those who are important to us. However, as I’ve mentioned, we also need our downtime to unwind.
If sometimes we don’t feel like going out, then please respect that. It’s nothing personal. We’re probably just trying to recharge and process our emotions.
7. Be always honest — we know when you’re lying
Our intuition is usually spot on. We know when you’re speaking the truth — we may choose to look the other way because we love you and we have the habit of seeing the good in others, but believe me, we know.
If you want to avoid conflict, just tell us the raw truth in a kind, considerate way. Heck, there’s no one more understanding and compassionate than us (which can be one of our flaws sometimes!), so there’s no point in lying to us.
8. Our hearts are constantly broken
“An empath’s heart is constantly broken by injustice, by inequalities, by the amount of toxicity in others and by being hurt by people. So, the least of your worries will be that you’ll ever get hurt by an empath. They are very aware of the pain in this world and that’s why they’ll do anything they can to protect your heart. You won’t have to worry that you’ll be cheated on, that they’ll ghost on you or anything like that because, when it comes to empaths, they always put your needs before theirs.”
Maria Parker, in 8 Ways Empaths Love Differently
Empaths are highly sensitive souls who are easily misunderstood. We’re giving, loving, compassionate, and sometimes, extremely anxious.
Being in an intimate relationship with an empath is like experiencing love from another planet.
You’ll probably catch yourself wondering what is it that you did to deserve to be loved in such a special way, and the answer is: probably not much. But it doesn’t matter. Don’t wonder where you got it from. Accept it and embrace it.
Source : Medium